Closer to the Bone

Closer to the Bone

This song is a weird one, because no one is really playing anything straight on it, except the bass. It’s all atmosphere—Chris is using mallets on the drums, Sam and Michael are making a bunch of guitar noise, as is Ben on keyboards. Mandi’s vocals and Carole’s bass are what are holding it together. We recorded a practice video of this as we’ve never been able to hear it properly—all we typically hear is the person sitting next to us.

The song grew out of a Christmas benefit show our friend Sean Marsh puts together every year for a women’s shelter. Of course, the show date coincided with one of the largest snowstorms in Maryland history, so the date had to be moved until after Christmas. As a result, attendance was low. It wound up being a fairly depressing and lonely night, with only about 20 attendees not associated with the performers, despite the great cause. In this frame of mind, the lyrics came forth, incorporating (hopefully) the loneliness and insecurity of the night and the situation too many women find themselves in.

The music of this song is verse/chorus, verse/chorus. No bridge, no extravagance. At the end of the song, the music just hangs in the air—a metaphor for the mental limbo of being unable to separate from the past and move on to a better future.

Here are the song and lyrics:



It’s a mystery
To everyone but me
But oh, if these walls could talk

You’re all action
I’m all fumbling hands
And oh, my quivering voice won’t give it away

I can’t figure it out
Some days you’re gone and some others you’re begging me to stay
Is this the deal that we made ten years ago
When we took those sacred vows on our wedding day?

I didn’t think so
I hope you know so
May god forgive me
Because I can’t take it anymore

Does this pain you?
Are you dead inside?
Am I closer to the bone?

The kids are crying
Do I stay for them?
I know it can’t be for me

You show them moments of kindness
You show them months of misery
You show them just how much I can take
You show them brutality

Does this pain you?
Are you dead inside?
Am I closer to the bone?